Bad News for ‘Trump-Adjacent Weirdos’ Delights Seth Meyers
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Lawsuit TV, Live
On Wednesday, a federal judge ruled that Dominion Voting Systems could proceed with its defamation lawsuits against Mike Lindell, Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell. Seth Meyers called them “Trump-adjacent weirdos” and poked fun at their election fraud conspiracy theories on Thursday’s “Late Night.”
“OK, so there are only two plausible explanations for what happened here: Either a federal judge appointed by Donald Trump ruled that unfounded claims of election fraud made by three Trump allies were not exempt from defamation laws, or Hugo Chavez teamed up with China and the C.I.A. to use Italian military satellites to hack the judge’s computer and alter his opinion, which was then printed out on paper smuggled in from China covered in bamboo fibers. The only way we can know for sure is if we take the judge’s ruling to a cabin in Montana, examine it under a powerful ultraviolet light, then bury it in the backyard, wait three days and see if it rains.” — SETH MEYERS
Meyers and Stephen Colbert largely focused on Lindell, the MyPillow C.E.O., whose reaction to the news was caught on camera.
“Watching someone get bad news, in real time, at their own symposium is my new kink.” — SETH MEYERS
“This week, he held a livestreamed cybersymposium, for which he hired a cyberexpert ‘red team’ and gave them what he said was 37 terabytes of irrefutable evidence that hackers broke into election systems using intercepted ‘packet captures.’ ‘Packet captures,’ of course, is a technical term that you might know by their street name, ‘pillow cases.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Honestly, poor cyberexperts. You go to school to get a degree in computer science, spend your whole career mastering a highly specialized skill that would be actually very helpful in today’s high-tech economy, and then a psycho pillow magnate hands you what I’m guessing is a garbage bag full of dry cleaning slips and CBS receipts and said, ‘I need you to switch who the president is.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Today in Rudy Edition)
“Rudy has also been sued by Dominion for a billion dollars. Now he’s facing a mountain of legal fees. That mountain’s in his apartment, right next to the mountain of empty Franzia boxes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Man, I wish I could have seen Rudy’s face when he found out. And that’s something, because I’ve wished to see Rudy’s face.” — SETH MEYERS
“On top of that, Rudy’s law license in Washington was suspended, and he was suspended from practicing law in New York due to ‘demonstrably false and misleading’ statements about the election — which means he’s cut off from his previous source of income: telling lies next to a dildo shop.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
In honor of Jimmy Fallon’s 1,500th “Tonight Show” episode, Kit Harington gave the host something he’s been waiting for — a “straight-up” rendition of Train’s “Drops of Jupiter.”