UncategorizedOpinion | Samantha Bee Talks Marjorie Taylor Greene and the Trumps

Opinion | Samantha Bee Talks Marjorie Taylor Greene and the Trumps


samantha bee

Hello. Hello! Hi. This is nice. Can I hug you again, even though you’re slightly infectious?

kara swisher

Yeah, I’m very infectious.

samantha bee

OK.

kara swisher

No, I’m not. No, I’m over the infection. So — but I mean, like, a cold would be fine at this point, I suppose.

samantha bee

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

kara swisher

So you were just telling me this is the first live thing you’ve done —

samantha bee

So I guess since — well, less than two years, but since March of Covid.

kara swisher

Yeah, of Covid.

samantha bee

I don’t remember what year that was.

kara swisher

2020.

samantha bee

2020.

kara swisher

How does that feel?

samantha bee

I love it.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

It’s like I can breathe again. That’s nice. Look at all your shining faces! Look at — smiles! Oh my god! I could almost cry.

kara swisher

Do you — do know how to interact with people anymore?

samantha bee

No, I do not.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

No, I was —

kara swisher

How is that?

samantha bee

— terrified. I was —

kara swisher

What is that like now, to see — you were a little bit reticent, like a cat, when you showed up.

samantha bee

Like a cat, you definitely have to — I definitely have — my social anxiety is advanced now.

kara swisher

Is it?

samantha bee

I find great protection in my mask now.

kara swisher

Oh, really? So Maureen Dowd, who’s a columnist at The New York Time s—

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

— told me she had a guest over for the first time.

samantha bee

Oh, really?

kara swisher

And she didn’t — so much didn’t know what to do —

samantha bee

Uh-huh.

kara swisher

The guest was in the living room, and she just left.

samantha bee

Oh my god, really?

kara swisher

Yeah. And they were like, where did she just —

samantha bee

Where did she go?

kara swisher

I don’t know, in her house, she just — she didn’t know how to socialize.

samantha bee

Maureen’s just crying in the bathroom?

kara swisher

I guess. I don’t know.

samantha bee

We definitely don’t. We have not really had a lot of guests. But that’s because we’re just like, generally a little bit anti-social. But we did have some people over. And we threw so much goddamn entertainment at them.

kara swisher

Yes.

samantha bee

We gave them — we just over — over-provided —

kara swisher

Such as?

samantha bee

— to the point that they fled. They were like, please don’t. We were like, we harvested these tomatoes and these — this kale comes from our garden!

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

And by the way, did you take a tour of our backyard? And like, they were just like, can we please get the fuck out of here?

kara swisher

Yeah, OK.

samantha bee

Stay away from us. Stop trying to touch us.

kara swisher

So is it hard to be funny anymore? Is it hard to make people laugh during Covid, or not? Or do you think comedy has changed?

samantha bee

No, I don’t think comedy has changed. I think it’s like, a little harder to — when the world is dire, you feel that. So you have to kind of like, override your own impulses to make comedy somewhat — But so much of “Full Frontal” is fueled by outrage, and by what is happening in the world.

kara swisher

Uh-huh.

samantha bee

So it’s a good place for us to be. I mean, we’re not like — you know, we’re never punching down with our — we’re always trying to like, punch up, for sure.

kara swisher

Right, right.

samantha bee

But it’s very satisfying. I will say that it’s — like, it provides a catharsis, I think, in a dire set of circumstances. Like, we struggled during — like, we were all working in crazy ways —

kara swisher

Yeah. Now, you husband filmed you in the woods. Is that correct?

samantha bee

He did, yeah.

kara swisher

What was that like?

samantha bee

It was great, actually. It was the only way that we could really make the show. Like, if I wasn’t married to someone who could film me in the woods, we probably wouldn’t have had a show —

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

— for a very long time. I mean, it’s hard enough, I guess, to kind of perform the show into an empty studio. But it’s harder still to perform it directly into the eyes of your spouse. It’s not —

kara swisher

And perhaps a deer.

samantha bee

— ideal, yeah.

kara swisher

Or a fox.

samantha bee

Or a fox.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

Or dragonflies, or your children, because my children had to help, too. It was really like, a — [CHUCKLE] Oh, it was rustic.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

[LAUGH] We did it.

kara swisher

You did it.

samantha bee

Yeah, yeah.

kara swisher

So how are you operating now?

samantha bee

So we moved into a smaller studio that is — just accommodates our show.

kara swisher

Mm-hmm.

samantha bee

And so we don’t have an audience. And we have a small staff of people who are present on the day of taping, but our cameras are operated remotely. It’s like a whole different situation.

kara swisher

So do you imagine going back to the big studio audiences, the big studios?

samantha bee

I don’t. I don’t really —

kara swisher

Why? Why?

samantha bee

Well, it’s a pretty great situation. Like, we’re pretty — we’re happy there, to be honest. I mean, I love an audience. I like — this is very nice —

kara swisher

Just this audience?

samantha bee

— and now, I’m reconsidering all of the things that I’m about to say.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

But it does allow us to be a little bit more nimble. Like, we were just talking today about filming on the steps of the Supreme Court. Or like, we can just kind of take the show on a bit of a voyage a little more easily. Because honestly, if you have a studio audience, you have to wait for everybody to finish work.

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

Like, so you can’t really tape until 6:30 or 7:00 PM.

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

So we can tape at other times of the day —

kara swisher

So that was just the constraint of the time, is creating that studio audience, and having the format — you’re kind of deconstructing —

samantha bee

And we loved it. But we did deconstruct it a little bit, because really, at a certain point, we just had to make a choice.

kara swisher

Mm-hmm.

samantha bee

And we can remake that choice based on how I’m feeling now, which is like, totally titillated by seeing shining faces all around me —

kara swisher

Right, right.

samantha bee

— which I forgot about.

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

We can remake that choice. But it’s like, a bit of a cruise ship. You know, it’s like, a big operation. And it takes a minute to readjust.

kara swisher

Right. All right, well, let’s talk about things in the news right now, because you’re very topical.

samantha bee

OK.

kara swisher

Last time I interviewed you in 2018, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was still alive.

samantha bee

Yes.

kara swisher

The Brett Kavanaugh hearings were happening.

samantha bee

Wow.

kara swisher

And Trump was President.

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

Cut three years later, Joe Biden is in the White House.

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

We have SB 8 —

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

— Texas law that effectively ends a woman’s right to choose after six weeks.

samantha bee

Mm-hmm.

kara swisher

So is that progress?

samantha bee

[LAUGHS] We’re doing great! Yeah, we’re in — we feel terrified.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

Yeah, I feel terrified.

kara swisher

We’ll talk a little about that, because —

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

— you talked about it on your show.

samantha bee

Well, I mean, I don’t know what to do. We don’t know what to do. We don’t know what to do! Like, honestly, I feel like so many of our episodes now are ending on a note of, write to your government officials! Everybody get your stamps and write a bunch of letters!

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

And it’s so nerdy and boring. But civic engagement is so boring and nerdy. And to do it right, you have to be like, the most annoying person. And so we’re being annoying all the time. And I don’t — I — literally, I’m not sure what else to do —

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

— except highlight this issue.

kara swisher

What do you look at yourself like now? Are you an advocate, or a comic?

samantha bee

I feel —

kara swisher

Or just a funny advocate?

samantha bee

Maybe a funny advocate? Like, maybe— yeah, maybe. Or I try — try to be funny.

kara swisher

Yeah. So when we were doing this in 2018, Trump was President.

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

Do you miss him?

samantha bee

Oh my gosh!

kara swisher

Just asking. I mean, he’s good for the comedy.

samantha bee

I just want to throw myself off this platform. I can’t believe you even said that.

kara swisher

Well —

samantha bee

I do not. I do not miss him.

kara swisher

All right.

samantha bee

And in fact, I did — like, when he got shut down off of social media, I had probably a 24-hour period where I just operated in a— kind of a fugue state of like, what am I enraged — I don’t know who I am — like, just wandering around a campfire. And then after about 24 hours, I was like, oh, this is fucking great. I feel a lot better.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

This is nice.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

This is how it’s supposed to be, right?

kara swisher

Yes. Yes, it is. Did you think he deserved that?

samantha bee

Oh, yes. Like, much earlier —

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

— yes, I did. Yes.

kara swisher

Do you think it changes — I mean, he did give you a lot of material.

samantha bee

Sure.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

Sure. But I actually think, to be perfectly honest, that the show is better without him. My life is better without him. Our lives are better without him.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

Comedy is better without him. Just the world in general, the globe is better without him.

kara swisher

He’s still here.

samantha bee

He’s still — I know, but I try not to — I know, he’s still —

kara swisher

What do you think about that, him running for President? I just interviewed Jason Mille r—

samantha bee

What — I did not — has that aired? I haven’t listened to it.

kara swisher

Yes.

samantha bee

O.K.

kara swisher

He said, sounds like he’s running. He was his head of communications.

samantha bee

Jesus. How did you feel when he said that to you?

kara swisher

That’s what he said.

samantha bee

I know. O.K., well, I hope he doesn’t.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

Because I think he might win.

kara swisher

Really?

samantha bee

Sorry. I mean, I still can’t believe how many people voted for him.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

I mean, I will never not feel stricken by that.

kara swisher

Why is that?

samantha bee

Because I cannot — the — oh my god — because he was the worst imaginable force —

kara swisher

Uh-huh.

samantha bee

— in this nation. And then we had Covid. And all he had to do was just wear a mask in public. And so many people would have just like, worn a mask. And I feel that probably tens of thousands of people’s lives could have been saved.

kara swisher

So when you think about it, it does, though, continue. Who else are you focusing in on politically? Do you go, ah, Marjorie Taylor Green, let’s discuss her?

samantha bee

Um, no, because she’s just sort of beyond dis — like, I mean, you don’t want to give — I mean, I just saw her big ad, where she fires the .50-caliber gun, and kind of hits herself in the face with it. And it’s very — you know —

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

— it’s fine. You don’t want to overly give people oxygen, too. You kind of try to strike a balance. You know, we try to figure out what is the most topical version of the show. And we do that on a Monday, so we had that discussion today for this Wednesday’s show. And Marjorie Taylor Green almost never factors into it. Like, what’s the point of giving her more oxygen? She gets plenty. I would love to starve her of oxygen actually, and snuff her out like a candle, would be probably our general take.

kara swisher

Yeah. So you don’t — like, you don’t want to actually smother her, right?

samantha bee

I feel like it — I feel like it material — like, it somehow manifests her. And I don’t — I don’t like, manifest her in my life —

kara swisher

Yes.

samantha bee

— if that makes any sense.

kara swisher

So last time we talked, also, we talked a lot about the run-in in the past, when you had to issue an apology —

samantha bee

Oh yeah.

kara swisher

— to Ivanka Trump —

samantha bee

Sure.

kara swisher

— for calling her an impolite word.

samantha bee

I did.

kara swisher

It starts with C.

samantha bee

Uh-huh, and it ends with U-N-T.

kara swisher

O.K.

samantha bee

So I — can I even spell it? Can I spell it on “Sway“? Is that the kind of podcast you run?

kara swisher

Yeah, that is the kind of podcast I run.

samantha bee

And these flowers just all wilted. They’re scandalized.

kara swisher

How do you feel about that now? Because at the time, you had security. I remember you and I were walking, and there was a giant security person following us.

samantha bee

Yeah, I had to hav e— I needed it.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

It’s fine. You know, we don’t interact.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

So it didn’t affect my social life at all. It affected my personal life. I felt like it was a very — It was a really, really interesting time. My greatest regret from that was really how people kind of like, handled the story. I was really upset by the amount of focus that I got for calling someone a name. And the story that really inspired that was a much deeper story about children being put in cages at the border, and treatment of migrants at our border. And so much of the news coverage of me and my little like, word that I said on the show was about like, how — what a shame it is that we can’t focus on the real story of the children at the border. And so let’s talk about the C-word, and how it disrespect — like, let’s continue deeply talking about this word that this lady said on TV, and ignore the story about the children at the border.

kara swisher

So when you think about that, a lot of it does manifest on social media, right? A lot of the anger that was generated online was due to bots against you —

samantha bee

Yes.

kara swisher

— the same bots that were attacking Roseanne Barr —

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

—for saying what she said about Valerie Jarrett.

samantha bee

Mm-hmm.

kara swisher

Same bots —

samantha bee

Sure.

kara swisher

— creating controversy, and then dragging people in.

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

And that’s not to say there weren’t people that were actively mad.

samantha bee

Sure.

kara swisher

But when that happens, and it gets into a sort of a lather online, how do you look at that when you’re in a comic space, and you’re trying to make jokes, or be provocative, or anything else?

samantha bee

Well, I ignore it.

kara swisher

Mm-hmm.

samantha bee

Is that O.K. for me to say? I try to — I really —

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

Like, for my own personal purposes, I ignore it. I actually, like, do have an appreciation that real life is different from that, like, swarm of bots. I don’t like it when the show is like, dictated by controversy that we’ve made — or the controversy that surrounds us. I like to move through it pretty quickly, actually.

kara swisher

So when you think of social media and comedy today, are you on TikTok?

samantha bee

TikTok is great. I’m not on it. I rely on my children to show me good TikToks, and also my husband, who’s like, super into it. So they show me all the good ones. I try to stay out of it as much as possible.

kara swisher

Do you think it’s important to being in entertainment today to be part of this?

samantha bee

Well, I get enough. I mean, it’s like throug h— via osmosis, I get everything that I need. I don’t actually need to scroll it. I can’t do — I’m not equipped to do TikToks, Kara. You look at me — I can’t do it. I’m not like — I don’t.

kara swisher

You don’t dance.

samantha bee

I’m not going to — no, it’s not going to happen. I need others to do the TikToks, and for me to just appreciate them.

kara swisher

Well, let’s talk about how TV is changing and everything. We obviously saw the Emmys — sorry you weren’t nominated.

samantha bee

That’s totally fine. I also didn’t watch — I actually Marie Kondoed my kitchen drawers in retaliation. And it felt great. It was like, really cleansing.

kara swisher

And it felt like it was a bit of COVID soup there, as Seth Rogen very funnily pointed out.

samantha bee

I was a little — you know, it’s like, my kids are in school, in an enclosed space, and they’re wearing masks all the time. I was puzzled by that. I found that a little — I found it vexing, I’ll be honest with you.

kara swisher

O.K.

samantha bee

Uh-huh.

kara swisher

When you’re thinking of where TV’s going, your old —

samantha bee

Sure.

kara swisher

—“Daily Show” colleague, Jon Stewart, is coming back soon on an Apple TV Plus.

samantha bee

That’s right.

kara swisher

Which is interesting.

samantha bee

What is Plus?

kara swisher

What?

samantha bee

It’s a different — oh god —

kara swisher

Yes, it’s more.

samantha bee

Oh god, it’s just more expensive. We’ve really just moved linear television over to this other thing. And we’re just able to stream linear television —

kara swisher

Yes, exactly.

samantha bee

— with commercials. Right.

kara swisher

Streaming is a thing.

samantha bee

But also, we’re paying more, so that’s nice.

kara swisher

That’s right.

samantha bee

Thanks.

kara swisher

That’s correct.

samantha bee

That’s great.

kara swisher

That is correct. So he’s doing a show called “The Problem With Jon Stewart.” Any advice for him? The world’s changed a lot when he left “The Daily Show.”

samantha bee

Get off Twitter immediately, and — no, I don’t know — I don’t know that I can really offer him any — the world has changed.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

I’m not sure that I can really offer him any advice. And he is also not taking it from me. And I think that’s good.

kara swisher

Yeah, all right. But television has changed. You just — streaming has become the thing. The big thing would be to get a big show on one of the networks before.

samantha bee

Mm-hmm.

kara swisher

Because I would assume, when you started out, the success would have been “The Tonight Show” with Sam Bee, correct?

samantha bee

Right.

kara swisher

Is that what you wanted?

samantha bee

No, uh-uh.

kara swisher

OK, no.

samantha bee

I never — well, I mean, no one ever really wants to hear that you didn’t aspire to something that feels like the biggest endgame. But I never would have aspired to that.

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

It’s not in my wheelhouse. That’s like, just not who I am. I like to tell stories. I like to do it in a compact, efficient way. I’m not going to do like, a dance. I’m not good at interviewing celebrities. Like, that is not in my interest whatsoever. I like comedy that is really grounded in the news. And you know, you’re never going to get like, 15 million people tuning in to see that. It’s kind of a — like, a niche product, really. And that’s what I like to watch, so that’s what I create. Like, I’ve definitely — my husband and I are writing partners on a bunch of stuff. And we’ve sold a lot of network pilots. And I love that part, too. But for me, doing this — this is really where I want to be. Because once you get to that, like, big, big platform —

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

— you are really like, crowdsourcing a lot of your material — you don’t have the freedom. I will say that TBS gives us a ton of freedom to tell the stories that we want to tell.

kara swisher

Does the new media environment give you more freedom? Because this year, the Emmy nominations for Best Variety Talk Series, which we just talked about, all went to men. Why have late night shows been so slow to change when there’s all this opportunity to create?

samantha bee

There are a lot more shows. I think Amber Ruffin’s show is a great example of someone who’s out there really killing the game. But when you put it on the Television Academy to do their nominations, they’re kind of locked in a gear —

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

— I will say. And that is its own separate issue.

kara swisher

Are there too many shows?

samantha bee

There’s never too many shows. There’s never too much content, Kara.

kara swisher

Yeah? Really?

samantha bee

Never too much content.

kara swisher

I make a lot of content.

samantha bee

I know you do!

kara swisher

I make too much.

samantha bee

You make it when you’re sick, you make it when you’re well. You’re just always making content.

kara swisher

I am, it’s —

samantha bee

I respect you.

kara swisher

Thank you. Thank you so much. But when you look at the future of entertainment, what makes you hopeful, and what thing makes you —

samantha bee

Oh, what makes you —

kara swisher

— dreads you?

samantha bee

Makes me feel dreadful?

kara swisher

Dreadful.

samantha bee

Interesting.

kara swisher

Interesting.

samantha bee

Oh-ho!

kara swisher

Ah.

samantha bee

Uh —

kara swisher

It’s a two-part question.

samantha bee

Oh, it’s a two-part question. I actually think — I love all of the HBO Max Plus Plus — like, I mean, I love that there’s more opportunity, there’s social media ventures. I mean, you can — the path to getting your own show, and the path to expressing yourself creatively, there are just — it is so much more open than it was when I started in this industry. And that actually gives me a ton of hope. Like, what my children are exposed to is sometimes terrible, but sometimes incredible, and some of the funniest stuff I’ve ever seen, that just wouldn’t have — like, didn’t exist.

kara swisher

That creators can create —

samantha bee

Creators can really create.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

And they have their own ecosystem. And there’s problems in that world — those worlds, obviously, as well.

kara swisher

Mm-hmm.

samantha bee

But there’s just more possibility. And I find that, like, extremely exciting. What fills me with dread? I don’t know. I feel like I’m reinventing, too. Like, I think I have some future ideas that are pretty innovative, actually.

kara swisher

Like what, drones? What?

samantha bee

Well, I mean, we don’t need to get into this in detail, but I was like, how can we build, like, a television cooperative? Like, how can we build new kind of economic models in television?

kara swisher

Uh-huh

samantha bee

Because I do feel like you could kind of like, break up that monopoly a little bit.

kara swisher

Break the networks?

samantha bee

Break — well, I love the network that I’m on, so I don’t want to break that one. But I would break all the other ones. It’s just that they’re so monolithic. And I think, you know, in a way, it’s dangerous to go and make television in your backyard for nine months —

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

— that is broadcastable. It looks like broadcastable television.

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

Because you’re really teaching the world that anyone can do it. And actually, it’s not precisely true that anyone— but almost anyone can.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

You need a couple of lights, but —

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

— we don’t actually need to build TV the way that we —

kara swisher

No —

samantha bee

— always thought that we needed to build TV.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

And it’s perfectly palatable.

kara swisher

Yeah. When you look at all these tech companies have gotten three times more powerful, do you look forward to a time when a lot of media is owned by Apple, Amazon, et cetera?

samantha bee

Do I look forward to a time?

kara swisher

Yes.

samantha bee

Oh, yes. It seems really great. I can’t wait! Oh my god!

kara swisher

All right, if you had to be owned by one of them —

samantha bee

I don’t — I cannot — I don’t want to — no! Oh!

kara swisher

If you had to pick one —

samantha bee

If I had to pick one— what are my choices? Amazon —

kara swisher

Jeff Bezos.

samantha bee

Jeff Bezos.

kara swisher

Tim Cook.

samantha bee

Tim Cook.

kara swisher

The Google guys, Mark Zuckerberg,. Elon Musk — let’s throw him in. He doesn’t —

samantha bee

I’m going to go to space with Elon Musk.

kara swisher

No.

samantha bee

I can’t— I don’t want to be owned by— that’s at the point where I might just start selling jam at a farmer’s market, to be honest with you. I don’t need to do TV that badly.

kara swisher

OK. All right.

samantha bee

I’ve had my fun. [MUSIC PLAYING]

kara swisher

So people have come back to New York. There’s a vaccine mandate in place for restaurants —

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

— gyms, and Broadway. Schools have reopened in person. Even “SEx and the City” is back.

samantha bee

Yes, it is.

kara swisher

They just had Fashion Week.

samantha bee

Mm-hmm.

kara swisher

The Met Gala.

samantha bee

Yep.

kara swisher

Is New York back?

samantha bee

I hope so — Jesus Christ. I think so. I definitely — like, listen, when we — ‘cause our kids are in New York City public schools. And it feels fucking great. Like, we — I walked my kids to school today. There were so many kids in the streets. And everybody was just so happy to be there. And we were so happy to be there. And it just feels right.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

So I think that New York is back.

kara swisher

Right. And what’s changed about the energy of New York?

samantha bee

Well, I think we’re like, cautious and careful, but New Yorkers are smart. Like, everybody here knows what is needed—

kara swisher

Mm-hmm.

samantha bee

— to get through this. I really wish that— and I really would love it if unvaccinated people would stay the fuck away. Like, don’t come here.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

Do not — do not come here. You can’t even get in anywhere anyway, so why bother?

kara swisher

Right. It’s not fun.

samantha bee

It’s not fun.

kara swisher

All right, let’s move on to Cuomo.

samantha bee

Oh —

kara swisher

So —

samantha bee

— yeah, right. Yeah, what’s he doing now?

kara swisher

I don’t know.

samantha bee

Where’s he at?

kara swisher

I don’t know.

samantha bee

He’s at his friend’s house, or something?

kara swisher

I don’t know.

samantha bee

OK.

kara swisher

I’d love to —

samantha bee

Laying low.

kara swisher

What is your take on it? I interviewed Chelsea Handler this summer on “Sway.”

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

She talked about how you reached out to her when you found out that she had a crush on him.

samantha bee

Really?

kara swisher

And then — and then blew her off, actually.

samantha bee

What?

kara swisher

Yeah, I know. It was quite a story. She probably —

samantha bee

Wait —

kara swisher

—missed that one.

samantha bee

She actually had a crush on him?

kara swisher

Yeah, she did. A lot of people, you remember, Cuomosexuals.

samantha bee

I do remember that, but I thought that was like — I thought that was a joke. Oh, O.K., all right.

kara swisher

I want your take on this —

samantha bee

No, I did not— was not a part of that.

kara swisher

Yeah, I want your take on the Cuomo situation and the new governor.

samantha bee

I’ve learned, at “Full Frontal,” you should not have any heroes.

kara swisher

Yes.

samantha bee

At all.

kara swisher

Yes, this is —

samantha bee

O.K.? Like, ever.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

Never believe in anyone, and then you’ll be fine.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

Never hold someone up as a hero or someone that you admire, because that is a danger zone.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

So it’s not like — I was not a Cuomosexual, particularly. And there were many, many times, actually, during the pandemic, where we had big, you know, show-wide conversations about how do we handle Cuomo? Because he’s super problematic. But the story about him out in the world was like, he’s a hero. And he’s the only person speaking about the pandemic in a fatherly way. And he is our dad and whatever.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

And so it felt a place where it wasn’t quite the time to be like, hey, just like, check it out, he’s actually an asshole.

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

We felt like we would just miss completely with our audience. And people weren’t really there to hear that at that moment, so —

kara swisher

Right.

samantha bee

Anyway, this is what happens.

kara swisher

So would you like to say something now?

samantha bee

He’s an asshole. He was bad, bad.

kara swisher

Yeah?

samantha bee

This is good.

kara swisher

All right.

samantha bee

It’s a very good development.

kara swisher

Do you like the new governor?

samantha bee

I think so.

kara swisher

Yeah?

samantha bee

I don’t know that much about — I’m trying to interview her, actually. Have you? Are you going to —

kara swisher

I am trying to —

samantha bee

She’ll — trying. She’s going to say yes to you, but she won’t say — listen, when you’re interviewing her, can you tell her to also do my show?

kara swisher

O.K., I’ll do that.

samantha bee

Everyone listens to you.

kara swisher

Who would you like to be governor?

samantha bee

Oh, wow — I don’t know. Who would I like to be governor? Cynthia Nixon, how’s that?

kara swisher

All right. She tried.

samantha bee

She did.

kara swisher

New York is going to elect a new mayor this fall.

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

Democrat Eric Adams has said that he’d welcome business as mayor. Are you excited to vote for him?

samantha bee

Am I excited —

kara swisher

Yes.

samantha bee

— to vote for him?

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

I’m not.

kara swisher

I like that you repeat my questions back to me.

samantha bee

I’m not excited to vote for Curtis Sliwa, so I will be voting for him.

kara swisher

O.K.

samantha bee

Yes.

kara swisher

But he just made headlines —

samantha bee

I do remember there was one point in his campaign where he was like, remote school is great because you can, like, teach 400 kids all at the same time. And I was like, all right, we have some work to do here. OK.

kara swisher

You don’t like Curtis? He’s got a lot of rescue cats.

samantha bee

I like cats, too. But he’s not getting my vote, is what I’m saying.

kara swisher

All right, but — so how do you feel about Bill de Blasio? He was sort of a— got kicked around a lot.

samantha bee

He did get —

kara swisher

I interviewed him, yeah.

samantha bee

Yeah. Oh, how’d that go?

kara swisher

He asked me why people don’t like him, and I said, maybe you’re an asshole, I don’t know.

samantha bee

Yeah. I think that might be true.

kara swisher

OK. OK. What do you think his legacy is? He disagreed with Andrew Cuomo, as you know.

samantha bee

Yes. There was a lot of dick swinging, and I didn’t like it at all.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

They could not get their ideas aligned. And I did not appreciate that whatsoever.

kara swisher

Yeah, he’s feeling good right now.

samantha bee

I mean, I hate to keep coming back to the DOE, and like, how they handled public schools in COVID.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

But they did a very — he did a very poor job.

kara swisher

Well, how do you think he’s going to be remembered as a mayor?

samantha bee

As a not great mayor.

kara swisher

As a not —

samantha bee

As a not — yeah, I don’t think he’ll be remembered all that fondly.

kara swisher

All right, we’re going to get to some questions from the audience. What’s your take on France’s hissy fit over losing the nuclear contract?

samantha bee

Oh, that’s a good question. I don’t understand that type of political posturing. That seems like such a holdover from a genteel time —

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

— of just like —

kara swisher

How dare you, sir?

samantha bee

(FRENCH ACCENT) How dare you? We withdraw our ambassador. He’s coming home. You cannot have our cheese. I don’t — I can’t say that I know enough about it to really comment on it, other than it just seems like such an anachronism. It just feels, like, old-timey.

kara swisher

OK, all right. Does Beto have a chance in Texas? How can we help? And let me just say —

samantha bee

Oh yeah.

kara swisher

— he’s five points behind Governor Abbott.

samantha bee

OK.

kara swisher

He was 12.

samantha bee

OK.

kara swisher

But Matthew McConaughey beats them both. [LAUGHTER] Hey, hey, hey.

samantha bee

Listen, that would be fine with me.

kara swisher

Yes.

samantha bee

Somebody’s got to step in there. He’ll do it —

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

— if you tell him to.

kara swisher

Yeah?

samantha bee

He will.

kara swisher

O.K.

samantha bee

He contains multitudes.

kara swisher

OK, so you would vote for Matthew McConaughey?

samantha bee

Look, I would vote for a— like, a pizza-stained paper plate over Greg Abbott.

kara swisher

O.K.

samantha bee

So yes.

kara swisher

O.K.

samantha bee

I don’t have that option.

kara swisher

What do you think of Beto’s chances, though?

samantha bee

Oh, well —

kara swisher

Beto, Beto.

samantha bee

Beto.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

I mean, he did well — he did reasonably well last time. I don’t know. You know, it’s still Texas. Fuck, it’s still Texas.

kara swisher

Still Texas. So McConaughey?

samantha bee

McConaughey all the way.

kara swisher

All right, OK, all right. Samantha, when will you and Kara run for office?

samantha bee

I never will, but you should.

kara swisher

Really?

samantha bee

Because you would be great.

kara swisher

Yeah?

samantha bee

You’ll have to move here, though.

kara swisher

No, I was going to run for mayor of San Francisco.

samantha bee

You would win! I feel like you would — you’d be a great mayor.

kara swisher

Yeah, I just — I just decided to have more children instead.

samantha bee

That’s fine. That’s —

kara swisher

I have, like, 18 children. I can’t run for office.

samantha bee

I know you do. We’ll get the next one into kindergarten, and then you can do it.

kara swisher

You know, the only people having children right now are lesbians and evangelicals? This many children —

samantha bee

Well, you’d better get busy. You’ve got to, like, outnumber —

kara swisher

We’re vaccinating ours, though.

samantha bee

You’ve got to outnumber them.

kara swisher

We’re building an army.

samantha bee

Oh, good. Yes, please do.

kara swisher

It’s called Militia Etheridge.

samantha bee

[LAUGHS]

kara swisher

We do build the best children.

samantha bee

That’s great.

kara swisher

We do.

samantha bee

You do, you do.

kara swisher

People should give all children to lesbians to raise. They’re so cool.

samantha bee

Can I keep mine? I like — I feel like I’m doing a good job —

kara swisher

Just send them for the summer.

samantha bee

Oh! O.K.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

O.K., all right.

kara swisher

O.K. I’m going to do, last thing, a quick lightning round of names. I want you to just say things — Trump.

samantha bee

Oh, god, go — disappear, please. Disappear. Just drop into a volcano. Sorry.

kara swisher

That’s a good joke.

samantha bee

That’s not even a joke. That’s serious. That’s real life.

kara swisher

O.K.

samantha bee

That’s —

kara swisher

President Biden.

samantha bee

O.K. That’s my — that’s — all right, all right. All right. All right. O.K. O.K. Mm-hmm.

kara swisher

Kamala Harris. – O.K. I like — you know what? I do — I do like her. Have you interviewed her before? Yes.

samantha bee

I enjoyed speaking with her.

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

I do not know what is going on over there —

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

— right now.

kara swisher

O.K.

samantha bee

O.K. I have enjoyed speaking to her tremendously. I do think she’s a real person. I think the job is very —

kara swisher

She is an actual, real person.

samantha bee

She is an actual, real person.

kara swisher

Yeah, she is.

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

A person.

samantha bee

Mm-hmm.

kara swisher

Mitch McConnell.

samantha bee

Oh, god. He’s just desiccating. Like, we’re just, like, watching him desiccate. Please go away. Go away, please. Go away, please.

kara swisher

Vladimir Putin.

samantha bee

Oh, god! Oh my god, ride a bear into the woods. I just want them to all leave. I just want them to make space for— You know, when we did — we did four seasons of “The Detour,” which was a really funny show that not enough people watched, and I’m still very proud of it. And you can see it on Hulu.

kara swisher

Streaming now.

samantha bee

Streaming now on Hulu. I’m here to speak for all the streamers. But we had a character on “The Detour” who was really passionate about Vladimir Putin. And so we had a huge portrait of him riding a bear. It was like, 10 feet tall. And I had it in my office for years. And everyone — I didn’t even — it never occurred to me, because to me, it was like, a prop from a fun show that I did. But to a lot of people, they walked up, and it was, like, behind my desk. And it was so fucking scary. And it seemed like I found him so sexy and, like, a perfect example of how I want to run my office culture. And it never occurred to me until we kind of shut down our office — I was like, should I take — oh, my Putin! Oh, I see why people are afraid.

kara swisher

O.K. I didn’t think that was going to go there.

samantha bee

Yeah, no.

kara swisher

O.K.

samantha bee

Of course you wouldn’t think that.

kara swisher

All right, last one — Oprah.

samantha bee

Oh, Oprah. [CHUCKLE] I definitely want to go to her house in Montecito —

kara swisher

Yeah.

samantha bee

— and smell her skin, because I bet she smells so good, and just so, like, jammy, and delicious, and clean, and gorgeous. I just — we’ve never been in each other’s orbit, particularly.

kara swisher

Yeah, I can see why.

samantha bee

But I — I feel like I need to be.

kara swisher

Her security has just been alerted.

samantha bee

I know! I know. I think my invitation just got lost in the trash —

kara swisher

Put some lotion on the skin. This is like— we’ve gotten into “Silence of the Lambs” —

samantha bee

Yeah.

kara swisher

— slash, Putin edition.

samantha bee

I know. I’d be so curious to — anyway, she should definitely invite me out for lunch. I have a lot to say.

kara swisher

All right. Sam Bee, thank you for joining me tonight.

samantha bee

Thank you.

kara swisher

Thank you.

samantha bee

Thanks to all these people. So nice to see you. [MUSIC PLAYING]



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